Refocusing

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What do you do when you run into someone you would really rather not see?

We all find ourselves in situations where we would rather not run into that person. Maybe it’s just because we’re having an off day and would honestly prefer not to run into any person! Or maybe an unfortunate circumstance happened, and there is still some friction in the relationship. Or perhaps, the problem is within yourself, and you haven’t made amends in your heart toward that person.

I’ve had many such opportunities in the past year, and like it or not, I’ve had to face the music more than once. In my   situation, I caused harm. I asked for forgiveness and some of the people I hurt have extended it to me. Others are on their own journey with it, and I respect that. But what do you do if you come face to face with someone and you would prefer not to?

Here are some of the things I have put into practice when met with these uncomfortable situations:

  • I breathe deeply through my nose and out through my mouth.
  • I release endorphins and serotonin by giving a big, beautiful smile! ( Or in some cases; gently smile, nod and in both cases, keep walking.)
  • I lift my thoughts to God and choose to love Him most.
  • I turn my thoughts to my husband and the journey we have invested a lot of time and energy into.
  • I turn my thoughts to my children and how I want to support them and be the best Julia I can be for them.
  • I realize if I always avoid awkward situations, I make a practice of hiding, and I do not want to hide.
  • I feel the pain. I acknowledge that this is reality, and it hurts!
  • I realize the next time I see this person it will not hurt me as much as it does today. Every day I am getting stronger.
  • I choose to be love, be grace, and be beautiful.
  • I ask the Holy Spirit to fill me and use me right where I am.
  • I remind myself that I am forgiven, accepted, and pleasing to God, and that this is the basis of my self-worth, no matter what others may choose to think about me.

 

There are times when you run into someone you would rather not see, and it’s really hard to recover from it, even if you’ve taken some steps ahead of time to prepare. If this happens, you may need to take several days to recover, and that’s OK. Some difficult situations are, well, difficult. Maybe they simply overwhelm your mind. Don’t beat yourself up. And if complete downtime is required, find ways to find times for yourself where nothing is expected of you so you can refresh.

Facing a situation is refocusing your thoughts.

I have followed these steps over and over in my mind when I run into a difficult situation with a person I would rather not see. I realize that in the long run, going through the situation is better than avoiding the situation. Then I give God what I can’t control, knowing He can work all things for good, and what’s more, He wants to!

I hope these ideas are helpful to you, as well. Sometimes being healthy means knowing yourself and your limits, and it means being thoughtful enough to plan ahead for your own mental and emotional well-being. Life is a journey, and it’s okay to make little maps to help yourself navigate it. 🙂

What are some ways you refocus your thoughts in a difficult situation? I want to hear from you today!

Happy International Women’s Day!

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I have to say, Never have I embraced my woman hood as much as I have in this last year! “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I will build you and you will be re built” Jer. 31 3-4.

This was my verse last year, and i have gone through and am still in, the re building process! I was dismantled….in  an explosion….pieces of me scattered every where! My heart and my mind where pretty critical, but they were not only saved, they have started to regenerate in ways they couldn’t have before and are much stronger than ever!

That is a reflection of how awesome and masterful our Creator is! He delights in taking broken and making them beautiful. I accept that.  I am broken, I am beautiful! I am fear ful and wonderful. I am precious and deep. I love with everything in me and I hurt the same. I do not have time for shallow. I write, I sing, I play the guitar, the drums, the piano. I ask, seek and knock and I worship. When I laugh, it’s from my toe nails! When I cry it is with despair. I am focused, I am motivated and when I get knocked down- I won’t stay there. I care less about what people think of me and I care more about people.I hike, ride my bike,  and walk in sunshine (even if it’s 2 degrees)!I repent and I forgive. Love means more to me than it did a year ago, it is more vulnerable with safe people and it is more practical but it is more sacred. I am more of the reflection of the One who designed me than I had been, with my emotion, passion, life,broken ness and the culmination of all the other amazing women in my life. I was created to be me, this one woman.

Celebrate the women in your life today on this International Women’s Day!

Forgive…..

forgivenessDr. Jesse Gill says; “Forgiveness is the substance of very strong people.”….Wow! That catches my attention because, I desire to be a strong person in a vulnerable kind of way. Now, I do not always want to forgive quickly, but I know that I must forgive to have freedom for my self and to have relationship with others.

In his relationship book, Face to Face, Dr. Jesse Gill offers some other helpful insights regarding forgiveness and intimacy in relationships. “God is so invested in having your spouse know His love that He wants to strengthen you in the toughest moments to be His arms of embrace stretched out to your spouse. There is no clearer illustration of this than the moments we do not feel like showing love.” Isn’t that true? That is so true in every relationship and those statements really encourage me to express that. Now, we cannot always control how others will or will not respond to that “stretching out”, but as far as it depends on us, we can be that to others.

Ultimately, we must “put on love” as Paul says in Colossians 3:14 which is ”
the bond of perfection.” We must put on love and forgive quickly and often-It is an active thing to do.

I often wonder if my readers wonder why I talk about relationships so much when this is an aromatherapy blog?! Well, it is also a Holistic Health blog, and our heart and attitude have more to do with health than what we put on or inside our body. But just in case you are curious about some new Essential Oils and Aromatherapy, I will make sure to highlight some this week! Have a great week enjoying what ever schedule you find your self in, and be active and forgive!!

We are right here with you and we want to hear from you today:-)

 

 

Holiday Parties…

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Holiday time can be a stressful time! I admit, I do not like the commercialism of the season. I would choose simplicity in decorations….like none of them!!!

I am a giving person in general, so I do not like this pressure dictating that I should give on a particular day of the year! I want to give time, I want to give an experience, I want to give growth, I want to give health!

So, if you feel like we do at Honest Aromas, why not have an Honest Aroma’s Party?  It can be a memorable experience with the people who matter most to you. It is educational and warm- we are not a network marketing company. Every can leave feeling important and being encouraged on a new adventure of holistic health. You will need to book soon as the dates are filling up for the month! We have customized parties and you will receive 30% off your purchases!! That is an amazing incentive and discount.

Email us today to secure your time at honestaromatherapy@gmail.com.  Love and Joy come to you- we want to hear from you today!!

 

Shame on you!

Shame, is a topic none of us want to talk about…. and….that is where it gets it’s power. We all have it. Some of us have dealt with it better than others, or we are completely disconnected people and we become sociopaths!

As I was reading a book called Search for Significance by Robert McGee, a friend of mine gave me the book Daring Greatly by Brene’ Brown. OK! I am paying attention, this is some thing that God wants me to deal with in my life!

McGee says about shame; “too often our personality becomes glued to the failures. Our self-image becomes no more than a reflection of our past.” That, McGee says,” leads us to believing a lie; I am what I am, I cannot change.”

Brown says; ” as we work to understand shame, one of the simpler reasons that shame is so difficult to talk about is vocabulary. We often use the terms embarrassment, guilt, humiliation and shame interchangeably. It might seem overly picky to stress the importance of using the appropriate term to describe and experience or emotion; however, it is much more than semantics.” “The difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the difference between ” I am bad” and “I did some thing bad. Guilt=I did some thing bad. Shame= I am bad.”

If we live our lives based on these lies about our selves, OR if “we use shame to keep people in line, it is not only wrong, it is dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders and bullying. Researchers don’t find shame correlated with positive outcomes at all” Brown says.

Well, that is a list right there!One where I can see some of that in myself, and a list I see throughout society.  Maybe you do not find yourself in that list…McGee gives one of his own. “Inferiority, Habitual Destructive Behavior, Self-Pity, Passivity, Isolation and Withdraw, Loss of Creativity, Codependent Relationships and Despising Our Appearance.”  Can you see your self in that list? I have all my life and still struggle with some of those things.

Here are some steps that Brown gives to help you out of the shame attack.

  1. Practice courage and reach out! Yes I want to hide, but the way to fight shame and to honor who we are is by sharing our experience with someone who has earned the right to hear it- someone who loves us, not despite our vulnerabilities, but because of them.
  2.  Talk to myself the way I would talk to some one I really love and whom I’m trying to comfort in the midst of a meltdown; Your’re okay. Your’re human- we all make mistakes. I’ve got your back. Normally during a shame attack we talk to ourselves in ways we would NEVER talk to people we love and respect.,
  3. Own the story! Don’t bury it and let it fester or define me. I often say this aloud; “if you own this story you get to write the ending. When we bury the story we forever stay the subject of the story. If we won the story we get to narrate the ending. As Carl Jung said, “I am not what has happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

This is good stuff! It is what I need to hear right now in my life, AND it has given me a real eye opener to what I can do to my children when I don’t agree with their behavior. My loving husband said to me; “You are not defined by your failure, you are defined by who you are….and you are not that.” I loved that. I want to believe that, I want to be that to others.

Isaiah says; “He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God and afflicted but He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities the chastisement for our peace was upon Him and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, everyone, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” Is. 53:4-6

He took our sin and shame and our defeat. I need to remember that every day and want to remind all of those in my life the same.

An amazing essential oil that can calm broken hearts and emotions with it’s chemical components is; Rose Otto. I have been spraying that profusely on myself and through my home surrounding myself with the fragrance of love and healing. Just as Jesus did for us.

What are your thoughts on shame? What are your thoughts on Rose? We want to hear from you today!<3

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You are my sunshine!

You make me happy when skies are grey, you’ll never know dear how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away! I recently sang this with my daughter and a good friend in 3 part harmony…one of my favorite things to do that bring me joy:-)img_20160721_080728

Have you ever struggled with depression? I have. I know a lot of people who do as well. Right now we are all dealing with summer winding down and looking toward the start of a new school season.

For us who live in Northern states, and who deal with depression, we can already start thinking about the long winter that is ahead…..noooooooooooooo!!!

My daughter and I were discussing this in light of relationships this weekend. We have people in our lives who are quite auroral– they are like the dawn, a bright spot in our lives, we look forward to them.

We have others who are constantly prickly. They sharpen us and make us have to rely on patience and grace to respond to them in a right and healthy way.

We have others who are a constant source of grey-skyedness!! ( I like to make up words;-) These people are like Eeyore from Whinnie- the P00h! We tend to want to avoid them because they can drag us down, and the truth is, we need to be wise about how to interact with them, for their sake and ours.

Honestly, lately, I have been grey. Sometimes I feel like the things I am dealing with in my life are never going to change. ..hopelessness is the worst of all feelings.  I do not always get to spend time with the shiny people in my life and some times that is just a reality.

As my daughter and i were talking, we discussed how you can not make attaining happy feelings all the time your goal- giving it God status in your life. But being aware of how you are feeling and what small changes you can make to incorporate “sunshine” in your life, is just wise.

I can easily loose perspective and give up. I can also turn around and be super excited and exuberant when some thing goes right for me or some one else!! I always want to be that person, really! I always want to be sunshine in other people’s lives.

As part of the Holistic theme of our business, I just wanted to validate the mental health part of our complex person. I want to  tell you I am there too and want to be a support and your biggest cheerleader!

This weekend I decided to turn to some helpful and healthy teas when I want to relax. Lemon Balm was my tea of choice for the evening. It is uplifting and calming at the same time.  Skin Detox tea with it’s bright red Hibiscus, is my choice for mid mornings. Instead of having that 5th cup of coffee (or Monster…)that can make me edgy, I am putting some beautiful high anti-oxidant mixes in my cup.  Kombucha is also a great choice. It is intestinal flora friendly, calming and energy promoting at the same time.

So, lets LIVE today with our fond memories and our hopes for tomorrow!

God Bless you! We want to hear from you today!