Autism, Birthdays, Mistakes and Inhalers

20181107_081310.jpg

My son is autistic. It has been one heck of a ride! Mostly the ride has been within myself, learning to accept, be flexible and be open to a new normal. It has taken almost fourteen years and I have by no means arrived.

 Having a birthday party for him was something I swore off a few years ago…and Oh Buddy, how I did swear!! One does not always know what is going on in that beautiful mind and if you go left when he wants to go right, watch out!  I couldn’t take any more tantrums in front of friends, leaving his friends sitting at the table because they ate their cake before he had the first bite or rude comments about the presents he didn’t like and the list is endless.  It is just too stressful….for me. Does that sound selfish? Maybe it is but I think I have a better grasp on my humanity and what I am able handle peacefully.

He started planning his party 2 months ago. I see him maturing in many ways. He has no problem communicating his need for more freedom and less parental control. I didn’t handle that very well when our oldest son communicated the same things to us at the same age, but I see my error in that now. I want to help raise confident, think for your self, respectful and God fearing men-so I can appreciate his hormones and intrinsic make up better than I used to appreciate his brothers’!

No person on earth has more tested, tried, exasperated or challenged this writer, than this particular son. He makes me want to hit the escape button on my emotional hand held and I sometimes  ponder if space from each other would’n’t be a good idea. I don’t know the answer to that but I do know, he is exposing many things within myself.

As I grow deeper in union with Christ, I have found this to be true. That the people and the situations in our lives that are cataclysmic to us in someway, are the very doors of hope that God has purposed. That can look a lot of ways, can’t it? It can look like the accident,the unplanned pregnancy, the lost dreams, the divorce, the illicit relationship, the addiction or the communication break down, just to name a few. God is standing there, purposing good through it, what ever it is. His hope and future for our good, in the pressure, in the refining and in the heat.  When you are aware of it, your eyes are opened! He wants to do something in us and through us. Ultimately, He wants us to so know how loved, accepted, forgiven and pleasing we are to Him- so that knowledge is given freely to others no matter how they behave, acknowledge or appreciate us.

I am getting ready for a big Aromatherapy event this weekend and in my busyness,  I made a mistake while blending some inhalers. I see that I am maturing a bit too. I just looked at the cartridges and asked, what shall I do with you now? Ginger, Lavender, Frankincense and Bergamot…. the blend lent itself to calming anxiety and reducing stress…perfect! I will give one to each of the special boys who are coming to the birthday party tonight and give one to my son and myself! A mistake turned into a blessing! That is what they are all intended to be. Not just for ourselves, but for everyone who surrounds us as well.

Thank you for reading, I really do appreciate it. I am right here walking this path of wholeness with you and I would love to hear from you today.

What Is Your Drug Of Choice?

fall acorns

Photo by Gabrielle Allman

I am so thankful, on this fall morning, for the peace and freedom that I am experiencing right now! I have been writing a book and have a deadline for the end of December. It is my story of recovering from an addictive, life altering event.

I have written my journey, in part, on this forum for over three years now. But in the wake of this particular event of my life, I took months off of life, to spend time with The Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  I needed to emotionally heal and I am grateful to my family that I was able to do that. My wish and prayer is that every person could have that space of time to recover from what ever trauma they have experienced and I would love to be a facilitator of that in the future, in a greater way than I am presently.

During that time I wrote out scriptures, some quite artistically, and literally plastered my home with them. They would be in front of my face and I would read them, speak them and meditate on them all day. Yesterday, I had the privilege of reacquainting with a woman who had been at my home during the time of my renewal.  She said she will never forget seeing  those scriptures attached to my walls. She said that she used the bathroom while she was at my home and spent time just reading the verses that were attached to the mirror in there. She too had been entangled in something and God was using the means of renewing my mind, to shed light into her darkness as well. This is the ultimate power that is greater than any other pull of the world, but we have to apprehend it.

Our mind is a magnificent created universe with tremendous pathways that can be re directed. I had built unhealthy ruts in my mind through addictive behaviors and they needed to be rewired and healed.

Romans 12:2  says; Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.

I had conformed to the pattern of the world and it was downright painful to pull out all of that construction and rebuild, but God had encouraged me on with every Word that He spoke through His Word to me. Jesus became very real and tangible. During that time He pulled down the strongholds of caring what others thought about me, he delivered me from depression and He showed me, so intimately, who I am in Him.

Another scripture that I wrote down in addition to Romans 12:2, was 1 Peter 1:13.

Gird up the loins of your mind, be sober and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

This passage speaks of doing what ever it takes to focus our thoughts on those things that allow us to serve God successfully, all the while eliminating any thoughts that would trip us up. The Hebrew idea was, to pull up long robes and tie them around the waist so that quick and freeing movement could be made.

Are there things that are tripping you up? Do you feel as if you can never get free from the things that bind you and set you back? Do you have dark corners of your heart that you hide from everyone in the world? I did too. God knows, He sees, and His response is always love. No one loves or cares about you more than Him. His plan is for you to reflect His glory and be His light to others in the darkness of the world. Jesus offers Himself to you right now. He is the way, the truth and the life. I did not only say that, He said that about Himself. (John 14:6) Whoever follows Him will not walk in darkness but have the light of life. (John 8:12) It is the most freeing, spiritual and adventurous journey you can ever take.

He cares about your life, your soul, your spirit  and your eternity and so do I.  He is here for you right this minute, again, no matter how many times you have tried and failed. Ask Him to forgive you and renew your mind and set all of your hope on His grace to you. Make Him your obsession and aim. I am right here with you walking this path of wholeness and I am so thankful for the opportunity.

 

 

Meet Me In A Forgotten Corner Of My Heart

20180929_150043.jpg

Be Still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I love you…that I hold you in the palm of my hand…that I have counted the hairs on your head…that you are the apple of my eye…that your name is written in my heart…”Do not be afraid it is I.”

There is nothing in us that needs to be hidden from God’s love. Our guilt …our shame…our fear…our sins…He wants to see it, touch it, hear it…and make Himself known. There is no other God than the Lord of Love.

Be still and know that I am God. God is not in the storm, nor in the earthquake, nor in the fire, but in the still, small voice , the gentle breeze, and the sheer silence…

Be still and know that I am God. Take these words with you in the week to come…let them be like a little seed planted in the good soil of your heart and let it grow…

Be still and know that I am God.                                                                  – Henri Nouwen

There Was A Traveler

forest-road

There was a traveler who at first saw nothing of the light that was shining in the wood

After a while the thought moved softly-“I am with you all the days and all the day long”.

But just as a flower never presses it’s sweetness upon anyone but freely gives to him who desires it, and to him as often as he will,

So that thought of peace did not force itself upon the traveler,

and yet it did offer to his lips a cup of healing.

And then, but how it came to be so has never yet been told,

the gloom of the darkness was gone,

the light in the wood shone forth,

and the glory thereof.                                                                                       – Amy Carmichael

 

Failure

Do you remember in the movie City Slickers when the character, Ed, said his best and worst day were the same day? I relate to that in this way; that the things in my life that could have potentially destroyed me, have been the very things that have given me grit and determination to change.  Those times have been the catalyst to eventually propel me into my best self and my best potential.

I have found that the humility I have learned in failure has been fertile ground for authenticity and given me a more meaningful way to relate to others.

I am sitting here this morning in my quiet place. The corner space in my room, next to a window that has been designated for prayer and meditation. I am reading Psalm 91, H.C.G Moule and Beth Moore. As I feel a cool, gentle breeze touching my shoulder after a humid, sticky night, I find that I am in very good company.  The words  that I am reading were written by people  who have a deep understanding of failure. The constant theme is; what is impossible with man, is possible with God.

It is not only that God loves,  knows and relates to us, in real time, through Jesus Christ…which is pretty mind blowing.   It is that He can still prove inexhaustible and victorious in our mortal flesh today! It is also that, He and He alone, can set us free from the slavery of sin. And it is further, that because He has set His love upon us He will deliver us. 

I am sitting here right now, drinking in His love and mercy. His absolute encouragement  and inspiration toward me to lift my eyes up to the mountains from where my help comes from. The awesome overwhelmedness that He is a master at taking ashes and creating beautiful things out them.  He really wants to do that for me and for you today and every day!

Thank you God that the things that the devil meant to destroy me have been turned for good in your hand. Thank you God for your Holy Spirit that leads me in to all truth and uses my life to help other’s with their’s. I am overwhelmed as I sit in your presence. I thank you for the other’s who have gone before me and have transparently encouraged me by their trials, struggles and failures. As difficult as the road has been, I thank you that you did not allow me to become hardened. You kept my heart soft and vulnerable, so that you could continue to teach me and I could continue to encourage others with the comfort I have received.  And I thank you that you, and you alone, can grow the most beautiful creations out of seemingly impossible conditions. 

 

20160922_080045.jpg

I am walking this path of wholeness with you and I would love to hear from you today.

Daily Affirmations

cypress

My Life Coach suggested that I write down my top ten affirmations to combat the negative internal dialog that takes place from time to time in my mind.

These are ten  affirmations that I have absolutely clung to in the last three years. They have shifted my thinking and propelled my life forward and I thought I would share them with you:)

  1. God is truth and He is invoking a blessing over my life and releasing me from my past.
  2. Christ is my life, He is my all and all. He and I are joined together in one Spirit. He lives in me now, not I, He is the fullness, the power, the strength and all I need and that is a fact now.
  3.  I am God’s Beloved, He made me in eternity
  4. I am loved, accepted, forgiven and pleasing to God, therefore I can love accept, forgive and be pleasing to my self and others.
  5. God is removing cherished sin from my heart and making me free.
  6. I trust in God and I will let God rescue me. I delight in Him and He is delivering me.
  7. God has plans to prosper and not harm me, to give me a future and a hope.
  8. God is building me and I will be re built. 
  9. In returning and rest I am being saved, in quietness and confidence is my strength.
  10. God’s statutes have been my songs in the house of my pilgrimage. 

 

You have probably noticed that they all find their root in scriptures. The Bible says that:

12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12

I believe there is something  very deep that goes on in my mind and in a spiritual realm that we cannot see when we use scripture as a weapon for our daily battles.

I am right here walking this road of wholeness with you and I would love to hear from you today.

 

 

 

Thank You For Celebrating With Me!

cropped-20180421_1828341.jpg

I told you last week that I was reorganizing my website to include my personal and business expansion into Life Coaching! Well it is finished, and I am excited to share that information with you!!

You will find more information about my new Coaching venture AND the link to Honest Aromas at: juliaallman.com !

I believe it captures the heart and passion that I have for helping people and moving them forward in life toward wholeness! Jessica at The Painted Square has done an amazing job! This has been a time of exhilaration and exhaustion for me! I was motivated through my Life Coach, Bill Cox, to accelerate my Certification process. He asked me to consider what I was waiting for in terms of moving forward with Certification and then coaching others myself? I really had no reason that I could think of to hold off, but I certainly had not planned  on basically starting a new business this summer! I have started and have already had clients reach out to me to begin the Coaching Process! I plan to continue to build my certifications and become even more specialized in the area of Spiritual Director.

I have proved to myself that I am not stuck and I am not living in old mentalities that have not served me well through out my life! I am moving forward and growing into the person that God has created me to be in deeper ways.

I know the plans I have for you…to give you a future and a hope.‘ Jeremiah 29:11

Thank you for walking  with and supporting me through all of my journeys and thank you for continuing to listen to my musings. I want to encourage you to take that step forward today into that healthy risk that you have been tossing around! There are fears and negative voices that will talk you right out of  your dreams and keep you where you are. But I can tell you that fear is not faith and there are people who are out there, waiting for your help and who need you!  I am walking this path of wholeness with you, I want to encourage you and would love to hear from you today!

Have a blessed weekend<3