Make A Difference!

 

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This post is to encourage me as much as I hope to encourage you! I shared a sample of it yesterday on LinkedIn.

This weekend I was a vendor at a festival that , in the past, has been wildly successful. The temp had dropped about 20 degrees and all day there was a persistent, steady rain. It was quite gloomy.

For the first 2 hours I only had one customer. I know for certain God sent me that customer, because He wanted to reveal something to me in the way of perspectives. His name was Logan and  he was an amazing 5th grade young man, who wanted to buy a migraine inhaler for his mother (so thoughtful!). He said,  “she would love your business!!”, because she ran a yoga studio and likes to use Aromatherapy with yoga. He then asked me if I would like her name and number!! (Natural Net Worker!)

He told me how his dad was called in last minute to make hamburgers for this particular event, (good example of a positive attitude, dad!). He told me  how his dad played football in college, how his grandpa was pro football until he was injured and how he instead chose wrestling and loves it! (Confident, non-conformer!)  He told me he decided to check out the vendors while his dad was busy. (Showing flexibility in his own morning plans being changed.)

Through the things Logan said with his mouth and said with his body language, he completely inspired me to be my best despite the circumstances! His confidence and positivity was a stark contrast to the dismal, complaining vendors who surrounded me. This interaction with Logan encouraged me to continue to stand up, smile and bring some sunshine to the attendees through out the day, and finish strong when others were closing up shop early.

Guess what? I didn’t do so bad! My sales were down from previous years but they were definitely worth the effort of participating.  I also engaged in mutually helpful conversations and made some great contacts…including Logan’s mom!  I noticed that the vendors who were hunkered down in their seats who were just trying to stay warm, had little or no traffic. Passers by would look over at their booth, but there was no warm invite to proceed in for a closer look!

Through this interaction, I realized that all of the things I have been learning the last several years: the mind renewal, the Autism education, family dynamic counseling, therapies, the set backs, the messiness… has all just really served to make me a stronger, more positive person! I tend to look through situations now and ask God what He is doing in them! I most likely would not have had such a long conversation with such a wonderful young man (who by the way, could be a better employee at age 11, than most!) if it had been a sun-shiny, busy festival day. I definitely give thanks for that opportunity! It was my absolute joy and pleasure.

The moral is: Stay Positive despite your circumstances- there is always something to learn and some way to grow through it.  There is also another moral: I can tell Logan is well loved and cared for- parenting is a tough job and it is never too late to start over with your kids! No one holds more influence over them than you!  #makeadifference #there’sonlyoneyou

I am right here with you walking this path of wholeness and I would love to hear from you today!

Daily Affirmations

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My Life Coach suggested that I write down my top ten affirmations to combat the negative internal dialog that takes place from time to time in my mind.

These are ten  affirmations that I have absolutely clung to in the last three years. They have shifted my thinking and propelled my life forward and I thought I would share them with you:)

  1. God is truth and He is invoking a blessing over my life and releasing me from my past.
  2. Christ is my life, He is my all and all. He and I are joined together in one Spirit. He lives in me now, not I, He is the fullness, the power, the strength and all I need and that is a fact now.
  3.  I am God’s Beloved, He made me in eternity
  4. I am loved, accepted, forgiven and pleasing to God, therefore I can love accept, forgive and be pleasing to my self and others.
  5. God is removing cherished sin from my heart and making me free.
  6. I trust in God and I will let God rescue me. I delight in Him and He is delivering me.
  7. God has plans to prosper and not harm me, to give me a future and a hope.
  8. God is building me and I will be re built. 
  9. In returning and rest I am being saved, in quietness and confidence is my strength.
  10. God’s statutes have been my songs in the house of my pilgrimage. 

 

You have probably noticed that they all find their root in scriptures. The Bible says that:

12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12

I believe there is something  very deep that goes on in my mind and in a spiritual realm that we cannot see when we use scripture as a weapon for our daily battles.

I am right here walking this road of wholeness with you and I would love to hear from you today.

 

 

 

Feeling Stuck

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The other day I was feeling really stuck in an incident that had occurred. Relentlessly my mind started to obsess over the situation in which I had no power to control.

I have a great book written by Beth Moore called, Praying God’s Word. She takes scriptures, divides them into various topics, and personalizes them so the reader can pray God’s Word over their situation. The above verse  is one that  I found in her book that was so pertinent to what I was struggling with at the moment. I wrote it out on a card to read and meditate on through the day, and it renewed my mind. Whether your past occurred in the last five minutes or something that happened five years ago, this scripture is such a powerful application. The Bible text reads this way;

Whoever invokes a blessing in the land
    will do so by the one true God;
whoever takes an oath in the land
    will swear by the one true God.
For the past troubles will be forgotten
    and hidden from my eyes. Isaiah 65:16

There is a God of Truth and He always desires to Bless us and Release us! He has things for us to do here and we cannot do them if we are stuck. Sometimes it is hard for ourselves or others to forget our past troubles, but it is not hard for God when we ask Him. Not only is it not hard for Him but he forgets it and dwells on the plans He has for our future!

I have been teaching myself over the last few years to not stay stuck in my negative or anxious thoughts about a situation, but to face it, release it, and pray for God’s perspective in it. God doesn’t look at me through a murky lens of failure and missed opportunities. He looks at me through a clean, clear glass  and sees me as loved, accepted, forgiven and pleasing to Him  That keeps me motivated to keep walking  forward on my path of wholeness. I am right here walking it with you and would love to hear from you today!

 

True Self

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I have been on a journey the last few years. I had been calling it a healing journey, but Kelly Flanagan in his book, Lovable, has challenged me to call it being wholed. I resonate with that because I often pray Shalom over myself and others. The Hebrew word, Shalom, is often linked to the word peace but it is so much more than that, it is wholeness, integrity, completeness, perfection.

I am not writing from an attitude of wholeness today. I feel anything but whole, complete or perfect. But it does not really matter how I feel about it! My true self is whole, complete, full of integrity and perfect!

“In the first act of life, we begin to overcome the disunity at the center of our self, which was wrought by our shame. We embrace the confused and lost little one in us, we return to our worthy and good-enough soul, and we come back into union with the divine spark underneath our underneath. We coalesce around our true self.” KF

I started painting with my daughter during the time my husband and I were separated. We have continued this activity together and it has been wholing. I painted this the other evening. I have been intensely wrestling with God concerning my purpose and my passion. It feels like there is nothing left to squeeze out of me, nothing else to burn, waiting for the “who I am on the inside and what I do on the outside to become one”.

The separateness we feel is truly an illusion and I am easily convinced by it when I see how I behave sometimes or when I look at my circumstances. But the truth is, I am whole and complete and perfect. I have a life full of meaning that is repeatedly being pulled free from shame and into my divine purpose. That is my true self.

Autism Awareness!

shine a light on autism

Did you know?

  •  Autism now affects 1 in 68 children…1 in 42 boys.
    Autism prevalence figures are growing.
  • It is one of the fastest growing developmental disorders in the US.
  • Autism costs a family $60,000 a year on average.
  • Boys are nearly 5 times more likely than girls to be on the autistic spectrum.
  • There is no medical detection or cure.

Before I had a child with Autism, I used to think that Autism was an over diagnosed disorder and it was caused by immunizations. After studying much research, I think immunizations can exacerbate the autistic symptoms in children, but our son never had immunizations ,so it is not the only cause.

As far as Autism being over diagnosed, I walk in a different pair of shoes and no longer see it that way any more.

Our son has been in some form of therapy since he was 4. There were some extremely grueling years of day in and day out therapy at home including; vision therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and vestibular therapy. We have worked a lot on large and small motor skills through the years. Doing “simple” things like tying shoes or using scissors are not easy for him, but he can do it!! He gets overwhelmed very quickly and moving from one activity to another is extremely hard for him ( and all of us who are in a hurry;-)

Behavioral therapy has been an on going challenge for all of us. “Tools,” that we use as parents, have to change several times in a course of a day or a week. What worked last week like a charm, will not necessarily work today in the same scenario. Nothing has been more difficult in our marriage. It is not that Autism causes divorce, it is just that if you live with a child that has challenges, it brings out all the weakness in your marriage. We have both wanted to leave the situation out of sheer frustration and exhaustion, and we had a time when we were ready to call it quits. In our effort to rebuild our marriage, we knew a number one target had to be parenting this child in as much unity as humanly possible.

Our son has a great desire to have friendships, which can be unusual for someone on the Autistic spectrum, but it is not often reciprocated. And as our son has stayed immature socially, his younger “typical” friends have moved on to other friendships. We have, however, found a few home schooling families who invite our son for play days or sleep overs! It is must needed respite for all of us…he gets tired of us too!!

Our son is very bright and extremely creative! He likes to write movie scripts and draw cartoons. He likes to play Mine craft and play with Legos. He likes to ride his bike with us on the bike trails. Of course he likes video games, but these are used as incentives and rewards for appropriate behavior. Through the years, we have tried several group sports, some successful and some not such a great idea! He had the most success with flag football and we are trying track this spring! He likes to wrestle and rough house with us. I started doing yoga three years ago and working out at the Y,  just so I could be strong enough to handle my fast growing son! Every day takes an immense amount of mental and physical stamina and it is all beyond our human capacity.

When I gave birth, we found out that I had a ruptured uterus and that it had been so for some time! He and I really very easily could have/ should have died. His name means gift, and on our hardest days we remember that.

We have spent the last 13 years trying to re adjust and re learn everything we did with our first three “typical” children. All the while, we keep in mind, he is exactly who he was meant to be! Every day is ground hog day here!! We get up and start the process all over again. I would like to say that “we have no doubt that he will grow up to be a self sufficient human being doing amazing things in the world”….but I would be lying! I know he is capable of greatness and deep down that is who he is, but we have so many days that we struggle and feel inadequate.  He is like all of our other children in this respect; we give all the tools, love, and encouragement we can give and he will make his own choices. Until then, we pray,  we move forward,  we learn and grow one minute and one day at a time<3

 

 

 

A Beautiful Heart

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My husband gave me a card today, inside it said,  you have a beautiful heart. If I read that on a great day, being in a euphoric state of mind, it would have been humbling. But I read it today. Today which came after last night, in which we had quite a spirited argument.  I woke up just as angry as I went to sleep, even though we both take “do not let the sun go down on your anger” quite literally!

My heart wasn’t beautiful! I had a card for my husband, but I couldn’t bring myself to give it to him. When I write something or give a card, I have to be in complete agreement with it- if I am not, it would be a false representation. But he not only left this card for me to read, he wrote in it one of the most expressive notes I have ever received from him! It was extremely real, loving, kind and humbling. No one knows me better than him and no one sees the whole package like he does….and yet, he calls it beautiful.

We took time to pray before we went to work today, we prayed through, until all of the misunderstandings had subsided and the peace that surpasses all understanding guarded our hearts and minds once again. This is new for us. We didn’t used to allow work to wait before and we allowed other matters to have preeminence over our relationship. This was the right thing to do! Ask for forgiveness- Go to God and say we are weak, our wisdom lacks and He is the answer!

To tell you the truth, the card and my husband’s expression reminded me so much of Jesus. He thinks my heart is beautiful too no matter what! He doesn’t look on the outward appearance, but He looks at my heart. That is solid and mature and I am not always there. This Valentines day, is such a great reminder of that other-worldly love. A love that dies to self so others can live. A love, not always sexy and romantic the way we think of love, but solid, mature, and always there no matter what. It’s rare and I am humbled to have such beautiful hearts hold mine<3