Addiction…I Understand the Struggle.

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I am definitely taking a raw plunge on this blog. I have gently touched on the subject of addiction many times but I think straightforwardness is in order because there  are so many vices, so little time and so many lives being wrecked.

This is from Larry Crabb’s book, Connecting. “God declares that there is no goodness in sex outside the boundaries of a loving relationship with a lifelong mate. When we believe Him and therefore are inclined to do what He says, obedience yields a joy that supports us in what ever frustration may exist. ”

Do you agree with that? I know that I have been spared pain and destruction when I have hidden myself in” the loving marriage relationship”, even when it has been a down right unloving relationship and even when it called for separation.

He goes on to write; “A man (or woman) has a difficult day of meetings and retires early to his hotel room. One press of the button (or call that call or that sext) and pornography will fill the screen.  He calls his wife, gets some work done, and then goes to sleep…never presses the button. The next day, meetings go well, that evening the urges come back, he yields.”

“What ever the complexity might be, it is clear that we are a strange mixture of good and bad urges and they can have a life of their own. With God’s Spirit we can love as Jesus did, but we can also sin like the devil..indwelling sin is a lifelong problem-indwelling goodness is a life long reality awaiting release.” (All wrapped up of course in Romans 7&8 )

“His personal problem is sex addiction. That man senses a voice that yearns to be filled but lacks the sense to realize that he longs for LOVE, not pleasure.” And that is where the wreckage happens. I know, I have experienced it first hand.

Is God’s love enough? That has been my question. That has been my adventure. That has been my pursuit. Can His love surpass anything this world or anyone else has to offer me? Can His love be so tangible and intimate that any other would pale? Is He that interested in my well being and future? Or is what seems a justifiable and reliable provision of pleasure/center of life/lust/control/addiction really soul satisfaction?

In the midst of my addiction behavior I could say; “I can live with out_______, I cannot live without God”- Even though nothing in my flesh wanted to let the addiction go. It is so easy to feel isolated when you are struggling or failing. I would look for anything on the internet that might help relate to me, a Christian woman caught in addictive behaviors. I did find an extremely helpful prayer that seemed to understand the snare and all of the anguish I had been caught in. But more times than not, most Christian articles related to addictions or failures left me feeling more demonized as the guilty party.  I needed to know there was a light at the end of the tunnel, that people had not only come out the other side, but that they were Alive!, Thriving! and were loved and used by God again! I want to be a light like that to someone who is where I have been!

You have to understand that I believe Jesus delivers!! That all power belongs to Him! That nothing is too difficult for Him! That He came to set the captive free, and had when I first came to Him, so why was I in bondage again? I had to understand why I would allow myself to come to such a low place and risk loosing my whole life as I knew it. During the search for that answer, I learned so much about myself and God.

These are the things and people He has used to reveal who I really am in Him and His love toward me. If you are caught in addiction, and really want freedom and health, these are the resources I highly recommend. First, Friends who see the greatness in you. I tightened my circle of friends and unfortunately had to cut off some really significant relationships that couldn’t be that for me (my husband being my best friend  and support  even while dealing with his own issues.) Any of Larry Crabb’s books…I think I have read and re read them all. Henry Cloud’s Changes that Heal and Robert McGee’s Search for Significance.  I had two amazing Licensed Marriage Family Therapists (which are the only  type of counselors that I recommend) who I still reach out to. Through a set of supernatural sequences, I got a hold of The Adulterous Christian Woman; The Lies that got me there, truths that brought me back by Lyndell Holtz, who has become one of my dearest friends since, and continues to be a radiant light ahead of me.  I also immersed myself in watching You Tube videos by Malcom Smith and Sylvia Pearce who’s life mission is to help Christians understand who they really are in Christ.

If I could have left my life and gone some where to figure it all out, I probably would have. But God has been so good to me to send me help while living my day to day life out and I believe He has given me grit and perseverance in the process.  Like I said before, I want to be a compassionate light leading some one else who is navigating their way out of the pit of addiction…I understand the struggle.

 

 

Remember to Keep Going!

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If you have been reading my blog, you know I have been on a personal journey the last few years. Through that time, my husband and I were separated and every thing in the fabric of my life seemed to be pulling apart.

The way we parented, or did not parent our youngest, autistic, son together, was a definite strain on our marriage. You have these imperfections in marriage and parenting, but you can slough them off easier, I think, with “typical” children. But these inconsistencies will glare in the face of a special needs child and cause you to grow together or apart.

So, as we came to the bottom of everything we thought we had, and I personally was in the lowest place a person could be- I relinquished control. I told God, if He cared about me, and about this Holy Union He named Marriage, He was going to have to make something out of broken pieces. It has been a painful process, dying to self usually is! For if we are going to make something beautiful out of broken, it has to be sorted out, cleaned out, rebuilt and it won’t happen with resistance.

In the process, I approach my children differently. I am approaching my special needs son slower. I am more conscious of my being just a “vessel”, and I can pour out love to him, or frustration. I am in his life (and everyone’s for that matter) to pour out love, power and a sound mind. This is a work of The Holy Spirit- I do not have this kind of supernatural-ness!

Last night he asked me to pray for him and read the Bible to him, he was troubled in his mind. I was so blessed that he would even ask me to do that! At one point, he started kissing my hand, I asked him why he was doing that and he said; “your awesome”. Taken aback, I asked, “why?” He said; “because you are trying to help me!” How beautiful, how simple, how divine.

I was reminded of my friend buying me this Keep Going mug and how I would use it every morning and read it’s truth. When you  bottom out in life, it is not the time to quit and give up! It is the time to ask for supernatural help and run with endurance. There are Always second, third, tenth, hundredth chances. God NEVER gives up on you! Even if others do, and they will, you are there to be awesome for some one else. Keep Going- I am right here with you cheering you on!!

I’m Giving it Up!

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Several weeks ago, I told you that I was dealing with some anemia issues. My doctor told me he was going to put me on a diet that I wasn’t going to like!! So, I consulted with a friend who went to this same doctor and she gave me the news….No Coffee!!:-(

Coffee has been my friend for a long time!! I started drinking it when I was 12 to get my self going in the morning for school! I am a singer and in the “old days”, I sang late at night into the early morning hours and coffee (or caffeine pills) were my go to.

Later in life when I was married,  I had had a few miscarriages and I felt very lead of the Lord not to drink coffee. I said “God, if this is you, YOU will have to give me the grace to give up this vice.” I felt that I did have amazing strength not to give into my favorite indulgence and 9 months later, I gave birth to a beautiful, tiny girl<3

A similar thing happened recently. As I said, I had consulted a friend who told me coffee was not on this diet, and I said; “God, please give me the grace to give this up if it is harming me.” He has, and although I have had a couple sips here and there the last 3 weeks while going through detox, I am definitely making a new habit!!

I am not saying coffee is bad, There are some definite health benefits of coffee as well as tea. But it isn’t some thing that is benefiting me right now and I am sure there are some of you out there who know that’s true for you as well.

I have switched over to an array of herbal teas and I drink more Kombucha too. I definitely do not have the lows in the afternoon that I used to have and I feel more emotionally balanced….that definitely makes it easier to keep going.

So, that’s where I am on my journey right now, any one out there on the same journey? I am right here walking it with you:-)

 

What Are You Listening To?

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My mom used to say; “turn down that rock music…your going to be deaf by the time your 30! Well, 30 seemed a really far way off back then, so I didn’t heed her wisdom. Guess what, now that I am pushing 50 I do struggle with hearing people speak.

What are the things that “pull” you, that you know really aren’t the best things you could be doing with your time, money or energy? Don’t blow it off! Slow down and pay attention to those little pricks you get in your conscience. Are you listening to news everyday that is giving you anxiety? Are you drawn to unhealthy life styles? Drinking too much alcohol or over eating? Maybe you avoid people and keep your self busy when you know you should be making some emotional connections with healthy relationships, but you are too afraid.

It is the beginning of a new year! It is the beginning of a new week! I am right here with you growing into the person I was created to be and I want to encourage you on your journey as well!! We all struggle with something. What has your ear that you know is detrimental? Like I said in/honestaromas.com/2016/12/28/the-journey-with-vigor/ last week,  we have to be able to sort out these things to have happy, healthy lives. You may not have the will power to over come struggles in your life, but there are people who can help you and God is invested in your success! It doesn’t make it easy, I know, but it is possible!

As far as aromatherapy can help in this process, Black Pepper (Piper nigrum) comes to mind! It helps reduce fear and motivate change, it reduces stagnation, and reduces fatigue, depression and low energy. It is also full of wonderful natural components that reduce inflammation, remove mucus, provide pain relief and so much more! We have several bottles in stock. Consider having a party or class and making some healing concoctions with this multi-functional  oil!

We are right here with you and we want to hear from you today!

The Clouds…

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This blew my mind this morning….”It is not true to say that God wants to teach us some thing in our trials; through every cloud He brings, He wants us to unlearn some thing.” Oswald Chambers

Which leads me to ask myself the question; “what do I need to un learn?”….Oh, I could think of a lot of things!! So I ask you…what do you need to un learn? Bad habits,bad relational styles,  hang ups, addictions?

Wise man that Oswald Chambers!! After he has been long gone, he is still challenging us today. So, look at “The clouds in your life” and see them as an opportunity for change. Really nothing can change until you can change how you think about it. It is not easy, but it is possible. It might take all the energy you have every day, but as you persist, it will get easier. You will look back at some point and realize how far you’ve come!

As you enter your weekend, consider what things you could un learn and think about new things you could learn in it’s place. Here is some thing new for you to learn…..as far as summer pests go, nothing is as strong as cedarwood ! It really helps curb ticks and other bugs! We are making a new tick spray for summer using cedarwood!

What things do you need to un learn in your life? Have you ever used cedarwood? We want to hear from you today!!