I will be honest….there has, not so long ago, been a time in my life when I wasn’t being honest with myself or others. It caused a lot of pain for everyone around me and it changed my life. I have had to grapple with my choices and ponder what would bring me to a place where I would choose to live in lies rather than the truth?
One aspect of myself that I found was, that through out my life I lacked boundaries and the courage to tell people how I saw things when I didn’t agree with them. I thought I was just being “agreeable” and keeping peace. But what I realized is that I was just people pleasing and too afraid to let others see the real me. This also reinforced my distorted thinking about myself ,kept me in unhealthy relationships and set me up for future failure.
This is just one aspect of the many journeys I have been on, but when I read Dr. Henry Cloud’s book this morning; Changes That Heal, I thought I would share some of his insights that have helped me.
Be honest with one another. Many people will not be honest because they fear loss of intimacy and togetherness. in reality, honesty brings people closer together, for it will strengthen their identities. The more you realize your separate identities, the closer you can become. Telling loved ones what is really on your minds and telling others what you really think is the foundation of love.
Now that I am testing the waters in this realm, I realize that people really like to keep me in my old “people pleasing” box!! They don’t appreciate my new found freedom and personal boundaries! But it is ok, that is to be expected and will just cause further healthy change and growth.
Maybe you have not struggled in this area, but since the book, Boundaries (store.cloudtownsend.com/boundaries-softcover-book.html) sold so many copies, I suspect that you may deal with it in some way. This is just one little honest thought in the area of being honest, but there is so much more! If this segment has piqued your interest, I encourage you to check out these and other books to help you straighten out what maybe has been distorted in your life. Healthy thoughts make a healthy person!
We are right here walking the journey with you and would like to hear from you today!